BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — A new podcast by an Indiana University-Bloomington sophomore created to discuss emerging math rock bands abruptly switches between being so quiet as…
NEW YORK — HBO replaced its popular late night talk-show “Last Week Tonight” with “A Week Tonight” following a deterioration of host John Oliver’s ability…
WASHINGTON — The Department of Defense began compiling a report this week aimed at assessing the viability of gender reveal “bombs” as effective weapons in…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local distro owner Andy Klein assured you today that the Pelican “Australasia” record on limited edition orange vinyl you ordered from him…
CHICAGO — Chicago Police Sgt. Connor Ring is on paid administrative leave after he shot a toddler in the face for “getting his nose” at…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Drummer Aaron Kelmer delayed the photo shoot for his band Baskerville today by insisting on posing alongside bandmates while holding his entire…
ATHENS, Ga. — Punk and new health insurance policy holder Nolan Nowickski is reportedly “going a bit overboard” with the amount of stick-and-poke tattoos he’s…
Guy with Pavement Lyrics on Tinder Profile Looking for Obscure but Critically Acclaimed Relationship
Guy with Pavement Lyrics on Tinder Profile Looking for Obscure but Critically Acclaimed Relationship
CHICAGO — Local Pavement fan Nathan Matthews added Pavement lyrics to his Tinder profile yesterday, hoping to attract a woman with the same exact hyper-specific…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Local woman Kelly Cruz’s recent unemployment status has her overwatered houseplants praying she finds a job before she drowns them all, the…
CLEVELAND — Cleveland School of the Arts Principal and metalhead educator Ryan Donnavin sent home 7th grader Alex Ramirez yesterday for wearing a Metallica shirt…
GREENVILLE, Miss. — Enlightened musician and your friend Tocarra Yost assured you that you will eventually find the missing capo you’ve been searching for the…
BEDMINSTER, N.J. — President Trump has appointed the once-popular 90s alt-rock band Spin Doctors to lead the country’s coronavirus task force, during an impromptu press…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local good boy Valentino was disgusted and appalled last week after an afternoon at his favorite brewery was ruined, thanks to constant harassment…
CHICAGO — Local punk Kyla Waters has spent the past 24 hours trying to decide if her roommate’s new tattoo either looks nothing like Jack…
HARRISBURG, Pa. — Local man and alleged former drug addict Kyle Drury is “weirdly braggy” about the apparently darkest, most terrifying experience of his life…