LOS ANGELES — Writers for the police procedural/workplace sitcom “You Have the Write to Remain Sassy” are debating how flamboyantly “gay” they should write a…
FALLS CHURCH, Va. — 36-year-old Michael Connelly’s sarcastic response moments ago to a demand from his parents effectively eliminated the possibility of receiving any inheritance…
SAN FRANCISCO — Elon Musk announced today that his startup Neuralink will be able to outfit humans with a brain chip that will come preloaded…
PHILADELPHIA — Local man Ollie Harris forced down another five beers and a bunch of chips moments ago in an attempt to finally eat something…
Few musical fanbases foam at the mouth for a reunion more than Fugazi’s. The post-hardcore trailblazer’s influence can still be found in new bands today.…
PHILADELPHIA — Local vegan Courtney Demming was pepper-sprayed by Philadelphia police during a peaceful protest yesterday, but declined the offer of a “milk wash” to…
BEND, Ore. — Armed MAGA patriot Kenneth Carter spent several days last week tracking a man over several miles in what Carter claims was self…
WASHINGTON — Billion-dollar event company Ticketmaster lobbied before Congress yesterday to add a “barely noticeable” $790-million service fee to the “Save Our Stages” bill meant…
GREAT FALLS, Va.— Local dad Nathan Sweeney created a bag of bag of bags, dumping multiple plastic bag-filled bags into a larger bag in an…
IRVINE, Calif. — Conflicted Asian-American actor Francis Chiu credited much of his success today to Hollywood’s typecasting of him in roles portraying doctors, scientists, and…
VENICE, Calif. — Local hardcore guy Dan “Nukka” Reilly was rushed to the emergency room with massive blood loss yesterday after attempting to remove the…
As a 20 year veteran of the police force, I am getting real tired of everyone bashing the shield. Somehow wearing this uniform every day…
ST. LOUIS — Local Grandma Delores “Meemaw” Naggi is still trying to recall the name of “the doohickey Mr. So-and-So had” from that totally irrelevant…
TAMPA, Fla. — Death metal veterans Cannibal Corpse have launched a signature line of embalming fluids called “Cadaverous Conservation” in a move to supplement their…
MEQUON, Wis. — Online friends and otherwise total strangers Oscar Bean and Freddie Wagner have no idea how to end a Messenger conversation they initiated…