RIDGEWOOD, N.Y. — Local creep Lance Weems narrowly squeezed past two women at a limited capacity venue last night despite having plenty of walking room…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local tattoo enthusiast Ben Drury admitted that the meaning behind a large tattoo of a viking skeleton throwing a fireball currently being…
MARLINTON, W.V. — Local truck owner John “John-Boy” Johnson recently employed his heavy duty 2020 GMC Sierra to move a friend’s old posters and a…
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local woman and dedicated shower pisser Esme Hill reportedly held her urine in longer than usual on Tuesday night so she…
MOORESTOWN, N.J. — Local dad Henry Connor insisted he will not be comfortable hugging his 27-year-old son Griffin until they’re both vaccinated against COVID-19, or…
HOLLYWOOD — Shortly after its acquisition by Amazon, MGM and Eon Productions announced this morning that the next James Bond film will follow the titular…
TORONTO — A recent trip to an out-of-town Subway made you realize how much better managed it is than the Subway you normally eat at…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local punk and Carhartt jacket-wearing dilettante Anthony Lynch avoided eye contact with fellow diners at a restaurant last night after a waiter…
TAMPA, Fla. — A nude photograph sent by a young woman to a new sexual partner early Saturday morning was allegedly responded to with only…
POCATELLO, Idaho — Local punk Tyler Christensen was purged from the punk community after it was discovered that he had been approved for a Discover…
SAN FRANCISCO — Retired senior citizen Roger Jenkins completely lost touch with the youth in his community by falling behind on their newly appropriated lingo,…