FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — A proposed presidential library for disgraced former President Trump is expected to feature the world’s largest vintage VHS pornography collection, organizers on the project confirmed.
“We worked closely with the former President to determine what his library should contain. There will be an entire wing dedicated to ‘The Art of the Deal,’ in addition to a room for viewing episodes of ‘The Apprentice,’ and it will all be topped off with his private collection of pornography from the late 80s to late 90s,” said lead developer Gerard Ingram. “The cassettes will be stored in a climate-controlled room protected by a velvet curtain in order to provide the authentic experience of renting pornography from the industry’s best years. I’ve seen this collection in-person, and it is truly magnificent — it has all of your homegrown favorites, as well as some of the weirdest shit Germany and Japan ever produced.”
Die-hard Trump supporters are already preparing to make a trip to Florida on opening day.
“This will be the first library I go into since my local library banned me for stealing a bunch of printer paper,” said Dover, Del. resident Clay Hale. “I’m not big on books, so I was happy to see the plans for the library included a section for back issues of Guns and Ammo and Soldier of Fortune. I also heard that Trump will be donating all the admissions fees to one of the many charities he loves; no other president would do that. I can’t wait to bring my kids there someday to show them the porno section so they can see important history.”
Former President Trump is excited to get the project off the ground.
“Listen, this library will be better than any other library. And believe me, I know libraries. I’ve read every book in the world, twice. Nobody else can say that,” said Trump from his Mar-a-Lago resort. “And this porno, the women in these movies — some of them have breasts the size of beach balls. Huge beach balls, not the small ones that always get shipped from China. Don’t forget that each visitor will have the option of taking a guided tour of the library that shows how the Democrats stole the election from me and that I’m the most persecuted man on the planet.”
The Trump Library board of executives is also planning on creating a gold-lined book that contains every single one of Trump’s tweets in chronological order as a tribute to the 45th President.