BELLE ISLE, Fla. — Local goth Jess “Alexandria Ravenwood” Reynolds is heartbroken that her recently deceased aunt did not include a “one night in a…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local punk Stephen Lazaro broke up with his new goth girlfriend earlier this week after discovering that sex together involves over two…
DANVERS, Mass. — Local siblings Lisa and Danielle Burke will get to experience their first year with two different Halloween celebrations following the divorce of…
ALLSTON, Mass. — Teachers and students at Allston High School were enthusiastically told moments ago by goth classmate Willow Bates that pagans invented the entire…
CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski earned a tidy sum of $523 last week after nearly two dozen tourists mistook her dark and foreboding…
NEW YORK — A joint study released today by researchers at Consumer Reports and The Goth Advocate pinpointed an alarming trend of aging mall goths…
PITTSBURGH — A local film club consisting entirely of goths announced today that their next event will feature a screening of the 1994 film “The…
COVINGTON, Ky. — Magick shop owner and obvious goth Maryanne “Luna” Hobbes couldn’t decide this morning how many corsets to pack for an upcoming family…
SAVANNAH, Ga. — AFI superfan Kristen Gallows spent her entire paycheck last night on amulets yet again, bankrupting herself for the week in a pattern…
Back in the 90’s Mark Taylor was king of Detroit’s suburban goth scene. His show, Home Improvement, was a staple of 90’s goth culture. We…
LOS ANGELES — Shock rocker Marilyn Manson finally addressed years of rumors in a press conference this morning, denying any involvement with Pennsylvania pop-punk veterans…
LOS ANGELES — Black metal-themed coffee shop Welkin Thirst unveiled their newest drink today: a spiced latte, containing zested pieces of a rotting pumpkin, black-clad…
LOS ANGELES — Singer/songwriter and self-proclaimed “antichrist” Marilyn Manson is in stable condition today recovering from spinal removal surgery that will enable him to lick…
LOS ANGELES — Local goth Jenny Carlisle successfully subverted cosmetic trends earlier this week by having her asshole professionally darkened at a nearby salon, unenthused…
BOSTON — Time traveler and anti-robot resistance leader Trent Mendez, sent from the future to warn humanity about an impending artificial intelligence uprising, was dismissed…