NEW YORK — Struggling indie trio Sternum First adopted a French bulldog puppy yesterday, undergoing one final attempt to reconnect and save the band from…
HUDSON, N.Y. — Chester Fields, self-proclaimed “super fan” of indie-rock band The Break, paid a grand total of $0.00 yesterday for the band’s new album…
NEW YORK — Inventor and former Weezer fan Dr. Stanley Tankowitz successfully time travelled last week to September 10, 2001, to warn Americans that Weezer…
PARAMUS, N.J. — Musician Dan Beck has been repeatedly playing the same part of the Pavement song “Silence Kid” in a local Guitar Center throughout…
It is a historical fact that Andrew Jackson was a shit-eating bag of limp dicks and prolapsed buttholes. As a punk publication, the Hard Times…
At first glance, the names Cyrus and Jeff might not mean anything to you. They’re a couple of guys who’ve known each other since grade…
NANUET, N.Y. — Local new, potential best friends Mark Hughes and Brady Walker confirmed that they shared the most beautiful moment of their respective lives…
PHILADELPHIA — Local woman Juliana Azzara passed the four hours waiting for her train last night by asking a man at a nearby dive bar…
LOS ANGELES — The International Committee for Problematic Favorites announced today that die-hard defenders of Morrissey have won the 2019 gold medal in mental gymnastics,…
When The Hard Times scored an interview with Jack White we were thrilled. However, what he said was so excruciatingly, unrelentingly pretentious I decided ‘fuck…
On the eve of Morrissey’s historic 300th cancelled performance, the mercurial legend flaked on soundcheck to instead sit down with us and reflect on the…
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my two on-again-off-again years as a drummer, it’s that drummers are the foundation of any band. Not only…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — Mayor Pete Buttigieg today became the first Democratic Presidential contender to release a decade’s worth of concert ticket stubs, following overwhelming…
TORONTO — Recent divorcé Simon Brandt, who hasn’t been to a live performance since before his marriage, purchased tickets today to see indie-rock act The…
NEW YORK — Indimus rockimus bards Titus Andronicus doth declarimus the approaching releasimus of an albumimus christened An Obelisk, according to a decree bestowed by…