Cannibal Corpse is just as known for their provocative album covers as they are for their music. Due to our intense masochism, we ranked every…
By 2003, Metallica had released seven legendary albums and critics were already anointing them among the greatest metal bands of all time. Around that same…
OSLO, Norway — Local black metal frontman “Iscariot” allegedly saw nothing but his own shallow reflection in a Rorschach test administered yesterday by a psychiatrist,…
Hey! Just wanted to pop in and express my apologies for not being able to come to your show the other day. I hope it…
CLEVELAND — Alleged metal band Gore God are under scrutiny from the worldwide heavy metal community today after it was discovered they don’t have a…
OSLO, Norway — The brand new, all-black metal streaming platform “Corpsify +” is responsible for the brutal deaths of eight Norwegian black metal fans, despite…
LOS ANGELES — Heavy metal legends Mötley Crüe, preparing for an upcoming reunion tour, admitted today that they are excited to introduce their iconic catalogue…
LANCASTER, Pa. — Local woman and Three Days Grace Family Care Clinic patient Wendy Adair was instructed yesterday by her nü-metal doctor to open her…
DAVIS, Calif. — Heavy metal band Despised Torture performed a destructive and dangerous set yesterday at The Velvet Cow, leaving the venue in disarray despite…
WASHINGTON — Legendary metal band Gwar asked the staff of NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert series if “they were ready to get their assholes ripped open”…
SPRINGFIELD, Ore. — The First Baptist Church graciously agreed to host “Springfield Thrash Fest 3: Fuck This Town to Death” yesterday after striking a rental…
I’m not a sociopath. I’m aware that you can’t see through my tall, chiseled, fragrant body. And I feel bad about it. But life isn’t…
Recently, The Hard Times met up with Craig Erickson, a new United States army recruit, an aspiring Mustang owner, and, this probably goes without saying,…
We’ve all done embarrassing stuff when we were young. William Frederick Jordan Durst, the auteur director who graced us all last summer with the psychological…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Wes Borland, the assumed longtime guitarist of nü-metal band Limp Bizkit, was found to be a member of Mudvayne last week thanks…