PEORIA, Ill. — Local skinhead Melinda “Rude Girl” Rodriguez was unwittingly conscripted into service at a nearby Target when she wore her favorite red Fred…
SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — Local frontman Spencer Wilt made an impassioned declaration to ISIS “and other terrorist groups,” clarifying that religious extremists of any creed responsible for recent mass…
LODI, N.J. – To celebrate the band’s 138th lineup, original bassist Jerry Only is offering “three lucky Fiends” a chance to buy gear, rent a van, and…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. – Despite knowing the show would be in direct competition with the theatrical release of the highly anticipated Rogue One: A Star Wars…
WASHINGTON – Reports of Bill Murray’s recent, surprising career change to Chairman of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission are suddenly beginning to make more sense,…
BREAKING: Early reports indicate your Malaysian Facebook friend wants your defunct high-school band, Pig Abortions, to “come tour [Malaysia] already.” The friend, who added you three…
AUSTIN, Texas – In a blatant display of entitlement, touring band Cheap Shot reportedly demanded legal, minted U.S. dollars — in virtually any form — in exchange for not…
JAMAICA PLAIN, Mass. – Silver-tongued punk Victor Gross resorted to complimenting a band he genuinely hated in hopes it would help his chances in procuring the…
LAS VEGAS — Kate Swanson, a local suburban mother and former Plasmatics tribute-band vocalist, was “humiliated” to be seen in public bringing her teen son to…
MOUNT PLEASANT, S.C. – Further fueling a Presidential campaign marked by personal attacks and antagonism, Republican frontrunner Donald J. Trump called on Wednesday for Washington…
LOWELL, Mass. – “Listen, these losers want to go outside, they want to smoke their mechanical cigarettes, and then they want to come back into…
WASHINGTON – Members of Congress were called to a special session this week to tighten regulations on what can be considered “New York Hardcore” following the…
ANAHEIM, Calif. – Following Rancid’s performance at the House of Blues last night, roadie Gerard Lyons admitted he was “kind of surprised” by the overwhelmingly positive audience…
DOVER, Del. – After three years of steadfast allegiance, R.J. O’Brien has officially resigned from True Union Crew (TUC) after not one of the estimated…
BROCKTON, Mass. – With Boxed Out’s merch table set up and drink tickets secured, band manager Charlie Austin is reportedly “not entirely sure” what he should do for the next three…