It’s no secret that all music today is utter trash. Me and my friends say so all the time. As a true music lover, I…
PARMA, Ohio — Local punk Matt Onofrio looks substantially worse after getting in better physical shape over the last several months, defying all laws of…
WASHINGTON —The American Association of Retired Persons announced yesterday that their bi-monthly magazine will now come with a copy of the once-popular “Punk-O-Rama” music compilation…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Punk band Precedent Smashers celebrated the release of their new album “Bash the Cheeto” yesterday, which they believe will be the final…
DENVER — Local beagle Danzig used what may be the first words uttered by a canine last week, allegedly to offer to fetch his owner…
CHICAGO — Local punk Gary “Crutch” Burke’s girlfriend Jacquelyn Flowers, who helped Burke get off of drugs, stop living on the street, and is paying…
OAKLAND, Calif. — The local Oakland hardcore scene announced today that it will collectively convert to being a heavily tattooed running group after months of…
NORWOOD, Mass. — Older brother Jack Durso bought the new NOFX CD “Single Album” yesterday, which he plans to keep in a faux-leather binder under…
City punks are way too soft nowadays. I’m sick and tired of hearing all this crap about wage theft and other socialist propaganda. It’s like…
Whenever some hotshot music historian writes about the “big three” in punk rock, who do they always say? The Ramones, The Misfits, and a swastika…
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. — Aging punk and generally anxious person in a Misfits T-shirt Hollie Wallace parked super far away from teenagers hanging out at a…
HENDERSON, Nev. — Local punk Vince Cannon applauded the proposed raising of the minimum wage to $15 an hour, as it will help him achieve…
WARREN, Mich. — Millennial Jamie Thorpe suffered a retail-induced panic attack yesterday after hearing several beloved bands from her youth as background music at a…
SAN FRANCISCO — Members of local punk band Loogie Howser are eager to return to their bustling itinerary of playing nearly three shows a year,…
BALTIMORE — Local Zoom show attendee Bryant Nelson sent fellow showgoer Sage Mykels unwanted messages in the chat of Wood Leg Work’s virtual show last…