I’m not a sociopath. I’m aware that you can’t see through my tall, chiseled, fragrant body. And I feel bad about it. But life isn’t…
Recently, The Hard Times met up with Craig Erickson, a new United States army recruit, an aspiring Mustang owner, and, this probably goes without saying,…
We’ve all done embarrassing stuff when we were young. William Frederick Jordan Durst, the auteur director who graced us all last summer with the psychological…
CHICAGO — Combative brothers and Oasis founders Liam and Noel Gallagher reunited yesterday to surprise a hospitalized Oasis superfan with an endless display of their…
The Ultimate Playlist to Let Her Know You’ve Moved On, but Are Still Down to Bang, Get Back Together
The Ultimate Playlist to Let Her Know You’ve Moved On, but Are Still Down to Bang, Get Back Together
Looking to save face with your ex while also desperately trying to get her back? Cue the breakup playlist! Nothing says “I’m over it” like…
LOS ANGELES — Popular rock band Imagine Dragons announced today that they scrapped their upcoming album “Explosion” when they realized none of the tracks could…
BETHESDA, Md. — Local woman Tabitha Wicksham is “not at all worried” about her husband sleeping with groupies during his cover band’s upcoming tour, citing…
CHICAGO — Local pervert Tommy Webster was surprised to discover yesterday a band named after mannequin pussy, his favorite fetish in the world, peeved out…
EL PASO, Texas — The legal team at Williams & Ruprecht was stunned today when a seemingly normal stack of divorce papers devolved into outright…
KINGSTON, Jamaica — An ocean liner hosting the 311 Caribbean Festival Cruise struck a reef off the coast of Jamaica yesterday, spilling nearly 11 million…
In my current search for employment I see job postings seeking a “Rockstar Candidate” every day. At first I thought it was great. That’s totally…
PALMETTO BAY, Fla. — An already shirtless Iggy Pop tightly crossed his fingers and paced anxiously during the team selection process of a neighborhood pickup…
HAMILTON, Ontario — Neil Peart’s elaborate drum kit is set to be divided up and donated to schools across Canada in order to provide every…
I used to be a God-fearing man. A real fire-and-brimstone buff. But my faith in God aged just as poorly as my tattoo of Christian…
DETROIT — Local bar/glam rock band Stiletto Devils, who cite fellow Detroiters Kiss as their sole influence, “suck ass” at playing music just as much…