When this whole coronavirus thing is all over and we look back, it is going to be the brave men and women of our service…
Our nation is facing the great task of slowing the spread of coronavirus, and many Americans are frightened. Why, I spoke to a man this…
I’m balding! And I’m super nervous in general. I’m only 39 and I’ve had my prostate checked eight times. I’m a nervous bald guy! I’m…
Sex education in America is deplorable. Public schools are still trying to teach abstinence as if half the students aren’t already boning under the bleachers…
I got fired. Yeah, I admit it. I was fired BUT, I’m totally fine with it, ’cause that band sucked and I was gonna quit…
I’m not saying I don’t take COVID-19 seriously, I do. We all need to do our part and self-isolate or the healthcare system could quickly…
Good people of America, heed my battle cry! Don’t let a so-called “pandemic” infringe on your civil liberties! Our rights are being stripped away under…
A fifty-two percent tax. I can’t get that figure out of my head. Fifty-two percent. That’s almost half my income. You see, I still believe…
Your Honor, take a look at this jury. When I arrived here for my trial, I was told the jury would be a selection of…
It’s hard not to feel like we are approaching the end times. With the world on the verge of a global pandemic, life seems more…
If I’m not given the option to watch my favorite episodes of “The Simpsons” in their original 4:3 aspect ratio, people will die. I’ve planted…
Ever since I saw that documentary “Predator” I knew I wanted to be a super elite army guy. I train every day so I will…
Homeless people won’t be getting any pocket change from me. I’m not gonna give these people my hard-earned money just so they can spend it…
I am not a racist. I’m friends with all sorts of different colors of people. Black, white, brown, beige, khaki. Hell, I even love that…
Sorry to burst your fragile little bubbles but there are only two genders. You’re either a man or a woman. No non-binary, gender-fluid nonsense. Cased…