As a Capricorn, there are few things I can’t stand as much as Libras. They are emotionally detached, self-pitying pacifists. The stars have chosen to…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local show promoter Steve “Froggy” Fordham recently posted a photo to Instagram that showed him pocketing cash stolen from a band he…
MARLINTON, W.V. — Local truck owner John “John-Boy” Johnson recently employed his heavy duty 2020 GMC Sierra to move a friend’s old posters and a…
CINCINNATI — The comments section on a Facebook post about treatments for anxiety and depression caused by the solitude and stress of the Coronavirus pandemic…
Despite being a major campaign promise, student debt cancellation of any kind was noticeably absent from President Biden’s recently proposed $6 trillion national budget. The…
LOS ANGELES — A recording of The Dooley’s frontman Jason Delahunt screaming at his bandmates is slated to appear on the final cut of their…
Dinosaur Jr’s “Sweep It Into Space” Is a Solid Effort That Is Unfortunately Derailed by the Fact That I Am No Longer 24 Years Old.…
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local woman and dedicated shower pisser Esme Hill reportedly held her urine in longer than usual on Tuesday night so she…
MOORESTOWN, N.J. — Local dad Henry Connor insisted he will not be comfortable hugging his 27-year-old son Griffin until they’re both vaccinated against COVID-19, or…
In today’s progressive social climate, some men find the dating world more intimidating than ever, particularly delusional, narcissistic men who think that all women are…
LAS VEGAS — Guitar Zone manager Ian Potts experienced a sudden onset of post-traumatic stress disorder caused by hearing a perfect cacophony of loud, amateur…
HOLLYWOOD — Shortly after its acquisition by Amazon, MGM and Eon Productions announced this morning that the next James Bond film will follow the titular…
CHICAGO — A passenger on American Airlines Flight 3077 was reportedly concerned whether he was allowed to lower his mask in order to use the…
Hold on to your butts because this is huge. The government has officially confirmed the existence of UFOs and, presuming there really are aliens out…
MIAMI — Famed guitar wizard Yngwie Malmsteen revealed that his biggest musical influence as a precocious axe shredder was none other than himself and absolutely…