SAN FRANCISCO — Local bad boy who has never done anything wrong in his life Patrick Webb swore again today to all his friends and…
Periodically we like to take a deeper look at the different people who are responsible for our articles. That is why today we will be…
CINCINNATI — Sidney Frogus, the longtime merch guy for the band HorseBird, was demoted earlier this week to being the band’s bassist after his latest…
DALLAS — Laid off mall security guard and avid Pantera fan Jamie Gunderson has essentially torn his apartment down to the studs with his fists…
ATLANTA — Stay-at-home mother Mary Benson wishes that her husband, Atlanta Sheriff Rick Benson, believed her explanations of the goings-on in their home as much…
Every ’90s teen can recall a time when they blasted Everclear’s “Father of Mine” after a particularly contentious dispute with their dad regarding a purchase…
LOS ANGELES — Local couple Debbie Yolander and Brian Guyson sustained mild concussions yesterday after guests at their Weezer-themed gender reveal party hurled copies of…
So your lifelong hobby has been an incredibly rewarding activity, but you’ve been doing it for free this whole time like some unopportunistic fool who…
VERONA, N.J. — Local 36-year-old Jordan Wilkins still hasn’t forgiven himself for completely botching his shopping spree during 1994’s “Nickelodeon Super Toy Run,” friends and…
Put any two people in a room together and make them talk about music long enough, they are bound to find some crossover in their…
BOULDER, Colo. — Unpopular yet devastating virus COVID-19 announced it will be partnering with Mass Shootings in a co-headlining killing spree that will stretch from…
ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced today that Americans who have been surgically attached to others at the mouth and/or…
DOYLESTOWN, Pa. — Local sous chef and frequent masturbater Kyle Myers would not pause his jerk-off session Monday when his cat, Mittens, crawled across his…
Millennials have been deemed the lazy and entitled generation, but there are a few exceptions. Sure, most of us are still living in our parent’s…
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Covert racist Nancy Jensen admitted she is sick of her more conspicuously bigoted husband receiving all the recognition for his horrendous views…