Listen, I’m not usually one to get snobby about alcohol but after years of refining my palette in the finest bus stations and public restrooms…
CHICAGO — Local man Shaun Clemens is reportedly planning to spend St. Patrick’s Day in his usual leprechaun costume, drinking alone in his room this…
Traditions can eat a dick. They’re always accompanied by violent cultural baggage or a devastating family memory involving my Aunt. However, a few years back,…
PHILADELPHIA — Local Irish-themed punk rock band The Drunken Fighting Lads are being suspiciously protective of the ethnic background results they received in a recent…
We stan a queen that can achieve the impossible. A bad bitch who can pull off a miracle. A girlboss who can accomplish the Herculean…
WALDORF, Md. — Otherwise well-adjusted 37-year-old adult Sean Collier realized yesterday that he still folds under the slightest peer pressure despite being decades removed from…
Emo kids, unite! Old school emos only. So if you were there from the start, come on and pull on those skinny jeans, swoop your…
WORCESTER, Mass. — Local punk Britney Callahan assured onlookers moments ago that despite the rather violent scuffle she was involved in outside the Walter’s Bar…
AGOURA HILLS, Calif. — Local nü-metal band Hog Washer can’t decide which of the countless butthole puns they thought of over the last six months…
LOS ANGELES — An alleged serial killer and millennial is taunting LAPD and terrorizing the city through a series of deranged, emoji-laden letters, angry and…
The world is changing and the local music scene is no different. People are bringing politics into everything, every band has opinions they’re cramming down…
VACAVILLE, Calif. — Punk teens and local high school students Bri Chambers and Daniel Hernandez ditched their Zoom classes late yesterday morning to smoke cigarettes…
TUCSON, Ariz. –– Local woman Anaya Marquez is concerned that pursuing a relationship with her friend David Alameda could jeopardize the incredible sex they’ve been…
We all remember house shows — the moshing on PBR-soaked hardwood floor, the carpeted basement that feels like a cancer-sauna, and most of all, the…
SALT LAKE CITY — A new QAnon theory circulating on message boards about the truth behind Daylight Saving Time is somehow more believable than the…