NEW YORK – Noting an audience that was left bored, confused and angry by a series of rambling monologues and artless “poetry”, sources confirmed that Joe Storm’s…
BOSTON – Self-described “hardcore kid” Jared Mahoney came to the realization that he is ready to enter the “liking hockey” phase of his life while watching…
LONG BEACH, Calif. – Despite objections from friends, family, and doctors, local mom-to-be Melissa Watts cannot contain her excitement about dying her unborn baby’s hair. Watts,…
Dog Pile is the weekly comic created by Justin Melkmann of New York punk band World War IX. Check back next Sunday for more!
AUSTIN, Texas – A Southside man has loudly declared his intentions to not have any fun at tonight’s Krum Bums show. Derek Miller, 47, has successfully…
Washington, D.C. – Despite serious flaws that would be crippling to a man in most modern social circles, local punk Matt Heller is reportedly “backed…
SALT LAKE CITY – Following a long night of pile-ups and sing-alongs, local hardcore fan Adam Brooke heavily regrets not stretching before the show. Speaking from…
Dog Pile is the weekly comic created by Justin Melkmann of New York punk band World War IX. Check back next Sunday for more!
VANCOUVER, Canada – Emergency responders worked through the night after a stage collapse at a hardcore show left 175 photographers injured. During the headlining set…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. –Glenn White, accused racist, adamantly defended himself on a heated Facebook thread yesterday, claiming he has “plenty of gay friends.” “Look, my best…
LONG ISLAND, N.Y. – Despite protests from friends and family, pizza-faced straight edge teen Mike Mitrione continues to refuse acne treatment, claiming he “doesn’t need…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Local vegan Sean Paige has come under a lot of scrutiny by the vegan community after savagely and maliciously stomping a bug…
Dog Pile is the weekly comic created by Justin Melkmann of New York punk band World War IX. Check back next Sunday for more!
ATHENS, Ga. – Patrons of the Georgia Square Mall watched in horror as local punk Bobby Lamb was nearly pulled into a moving escalator when…
PEORIA, Ill. – Music fan Chase Fuller, 17, revealed to The Hard Times that he trims his pubes before every show “just in case some…