CHICAGO — Local punk Gary “Crutch” Burke’s girlfriend Jacquelyn Flowers, who helped Burke get off of drugs, stop living on the street, and is paying…
These days, most people don’t care to know anything about the brands they wear. E-girls love wearing Thrasher despite never having stepped foot on a…
DENVER — Local man Matti Mukdam was found dead in his apartment last week, one day after his 30th birthday, as a result of standing…
The Holocaust is one of the biggest tragedies known to date. I heard somewhere between 100,000 and 6 million Jews were murdered! If I, a…
NEW YORK — Beloved author Judy Blume and maligned Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine are set to become unlikely collaborators as they plan to coauthor the…
A lot of thought goes into picking the perfect band name. But many bands don’t consider how the resulting name’s acronym will reflect upon them…
CAPITOLA, Calif. –– Awkward man Bryan Erdman revealed Monday that he is never quite sure what to do with his hands during sex, and always…
He may be 30 years old but he’s still the baby and you still gotta love him. As a child of the nineties, I loved…
FORT MEADE, Md. — U.S. National Security Agent Dan Briggs mentally prepared himself for another four minutes of unadulterated sing-alongs today after watching Lynn Lozano…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — The French film “La Joie des Moineaux,” allegedly incomprehensible in its native language, is even more confusing for foreign viewers when watched…
SCARSDALE, N.Y — Local mom Penelope Chapman is under fire today for letting her underage children buy stocks from home instead of waiting until they…
This guy asked me what I do in my free time and I fucked up and told him I really enjoy scenic hikes. I don’t…
SAVANNAH, Ga. — Record store employee Ian Benedict endured yet another judgement by a customer yesterday, who thought his Coheed & Cambria symbol forearm tattoo…
Years from now we’re going to look back in this era of American history and examine what each and every one of us did to…
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Cool landlord and champion of the working man Jenny Holmes is allegedly only asking for references, proof of employment, and a…