HUNTINGTON, N.Y — Part-time barista and avid Marilyn Manson fan, Scuff Leeway underwent an invasive spine removal surgery in an effort to reach batshit arguments…
In November of 2020, science, love, and decency conquered all that stood in the way of justice, and America got on the right side of…
DENVER — Newly single man Chris Fangerburg held a moment of silence for his former relationship today, lowering the toilet seat in his recently rented…
Sometimes a political statement comes along that really forces one to rethink their whole world view. While it’s been centuries since Martin Luther nailed his…
CHICAGO — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan finally noticed yesterday that “minimum wage” rhymes with “rat in a cage,” according to horrified sources who have…
I’m not a religious person or anything, but in some ways I guess I’m just old fashioned. This may not be a popular opinion and…
BALTIMORE — Local Zoom show attendee Bryant Nelson sent fellow showgoer Sage Mykels unwanted messages in the chat of Wood Leg Work’s virtual show last…
BILOXI, Miss. — Local fast food chain CEO Shannon Smith reluctantly agreed to pay his employees $15 an hour last week, on the condition that…
WASHINGTON — Newly-inaugurated President Joe Biden is extremely concerned that “The Netflix” won’t know to send his rental DVDs to his new address at the…
Sick Phoebe Bridgers tat ya got there. Is that her whole face covering your entire torso? Cool, cool. You must be a real fan then,…
GOLDEN, Colo. — Legendary metal band Pantera announced today a collaboration with Coors Brewing Company to bring their fans a new box set in the…
LEAWOOD, Kan. — The value of hot, buttered movie popcorn dropped below $4,000 per barrel for the first time in decades this week following the…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local crust punk David Wong firmly believes that “corporations are an evil plague on society,” which is why he only dumpster dives…
It was a rough news week for people who wanted to tweet something topical but had no idea what the fuck the stock market actually…
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Universal Music Group will reissue nü-metal outfit Papa Roach’s seminal 2000 album “Infest” in a deluxe edition that features five less…