LOS ANGELES — Local therapist Dr. Dana Therenspoon gave their patient exactly one month to live during a routine check-in, after months of increasingly lame…
It’s 2021 and it’s about damn time we feel comfortable discussing our personal traumas. And speaking of 2021, we have yet another universal pain to…
SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — Staff and audience members at the newly reopened Cherry Pit reported a puzzling stench that may be as serious a health risk…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local man with too much time on his hands Daniel Arnold unpromptedly gave his two cents on grunge icon Courtney Love at…
WASHINGTON — President Biden signed a sweeping new bill into law earlier today which will finally address the issue of student loan debt relief by…
I don’t want to brag, but I have figured out the secret to life. I know how to keep it all together, now. It’s not…
NASHVILLE — Legendary guitar manufacturer Gibson Brands, Inc. announced an incredibly weighty successor to its famous Les Paul guitar, monikered the More Paul, sources who…
Each Sunday, The Hard Times travels back and reviews a notable album from the past. This week we cover the 1994 compilation album “Some old…
CINCINNATI — Your Mom is wondering if you’ll be home for her annual 4th of July barbecue, or if you’ll be too busy with this…
SEATTLE — Neighborhood watch app Nextdoor crashed early this afternoon after users self-snitched on their own Fourth of July barbeque celebrations out of habit, according…
CENTRALIA, Wash. — Local patriot Rick Staler is concerned that the size of the flags mounted in the bed of his Dodge Ram 1500 may…
SANDUSKY, Ohio — Local punk Curtis “Copkiller” Richards reportedly ceased his habit of constant slander against the United States while enjoying a few kosher beef…
LOS ANGELES — MasterClass released a five-hour course on circumventing manslaughter charges taught by legendary filmmaker, and director of “The Twilight Zone” movie segment which…
MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. — Hard Rock Cafe Manager Kyle Neeson offered the chance to hold the INXS guitar hanging in the women’s bathroom to departing…
I’d like to apologize to every single person who attended my surprise intervention. Had I known it was happening I would’ve brought a 30-pack and…