Well, well, well. So you stroll into this here guitar shop on a Friday and have the audacity to ask to try that Gibson Custom…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local punk Rachel “Puke Pig” Valentino left an adult bookstore yesterday ready to enjoy a nice, cold canister of nitrous oxide following…
BATON ROUGE, La. — Convicted murderer and death row inmate Tanner Greene’s biggest regret in life is not becoming a cop before embarking on the…
First and foremost, we want to say congratulations President Biden! Well, moreso good riddance Donald Trump but six in one hand, half dozen in the…
DALLAS –– Two dozen members of the choral rock band The Polyphonic Spree are allegedly on Tinder looking for an “open-minded and multi-instrumented” 25th, confused…
NEW YORK — Luxury sex toy manufacturer Bad Vibrations claims their latest dildo, which can’t maintain a full erection and smokes the user’s entire cannabis…
It seems like just yesterday those Trump-loving, dumbass crybaby MAGA bitches were clogging up my Facebook feed with racist propaganda, Ronn Swanson memes, and boastful…
Well apparently it’s “where we go one, we go alone” for me. Somehow, while my back was turned, my wife Linda became compromised by agents…
CLEVELAND — Local man Ryan Kaufman salvaged the majority of his unused best man speech yesterday after adding some minor edits to instead eulogize his…
Fuck Joe Biden. Plain and simple. Who does that commie bastard think he is trying to raise taxes on blue-collar workers like me? Sure, I…
DALLAS — Residents of the local punk house The Lincoln Memorial learned yesterday that the white noise machine they thought they’ve been using for the…