PHILADELPHIA — Local band The Shit Kickers condemned their second place prize and disputed the accuracy of the applause-o-meter today at Battle of the Bands…
JASPER, Ark. — Local militia member Lance Hagan accidentally ate the three years’ worth of emergency rations while anxiously watching the election results, according to…
GOODE, Va. — Disgraced former Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. agreed last week to watch his wife Becki attend couples counseling following weeks of…
That is just disgusting! Who would be so thoughtless as to squirt down a thick, sludgy poop in the corner of the living room that…
In our modern romantic landscape, it’s important to have well-defined terminology when it comes to your boundaries. You don’t want some minor issue of yours…
So, here you are. Sitting in a dive bar in some town in Wisconsin. You just ordered your second round of deep-fried cheese curds. You’re…
LOS ANGELES — Local punk Rachel Hacker moved yesterday into Nordhoff house, the surprisingly simple and reasonably-named community house and DIY space located at 29…
WASHINGTON — Sitting President Donald Trump approached the highest court in the United States to demand that votes stop being counted, including an extra request…
TOLEDO, Ohio — The Observer-Gazette, a so-called “legitimate” local newspaper that has “allegedly won multiple prestigious awards,” failed to even do the bare minimum of…
LOS ANGELES — World-renowned documentarian Ken Burns has already completed two episodes of a seven-part series addressing America’s ongoing Second Civil War, sources report. “It…
The election result has been just as big of a surprise to me as it has to everyone else I’m sure. But still, I just…