TESUQUE, N.M. — The incessant lounge-style music playing on a loop for nearly forty-eight consecutive hours at a local casino is currently still stuck in local gambler Donnie Fuchs’ head nearly two months later, sources confirmed.
“I went over there so long ago; I think it was still technically winter. But I can’t seem to get that weird, non-stop jingle, or whatever you call it, out of my mind,” said Fuchs, of the nerve-grating music that won’t leave his head no matter how hard he tries. “I tried tuning it out at first, then I even tried pretending it didn’t bother me, but that little piano thing that kinda sounds like it’s gonna turn into the ‘Frasier’ theme song really starts to make an impact on you. I still can’t tell if you’re on an elevator in the ‘80s or if you’ve been on hold for the last seven hours, but I’ve had enough. Even the night mix was just slightly faster versions of the same song.
Additional casino-goers confirmed that the lack of control over the music played while gambling in public spaces makes frequenting casinos much less fun than it should be, and has left them with music playing in their head for weeks later, despite every effort to forget it.
“I thought I would just go celebrate my friend Kristi’s last night as a free woman with some drinks and maybe some of those cool looking slots. I didn’t even realize I was listening to the music, but I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since I left. I’m sorry, but there’s just not enough complimentary Amaretto sours in the world to make me forget what I heard over the course of what felt like the longest night my life,” explained local woman Melanie Stramm, of the several hours she recently spent in a casino to celebrate a friend’s bachelorette party. “I’ve tried everything to get it out of my head — other music, crying babies, I even tried jack hammering my driveway, but nothing will replace that strange little tune. Don’t get me wrong, it was a really fun night, but we’re going on two months now and I really don’t know what else to do.”
In recent weeks, Fuchs has taken to playing online casino games on a computer inside the confines of this apartment, which he prefers as it allows him full control over what music he listens to while enjoying himself.
“Honestly, I don’t know why I didn’t do this years ago, everything about this is so much better,” Fuchs stated. “I can still smoke in here all I want, as long as I keep the window fan running, and I don’t even have to get dressed if I don’t want to. Plus, I can pick whatever music I wanna listen to and not have to listen to that lounge bullshit anymore — from now on, if I’m gonna listen to back to back songs on a loop for 24 hours, it’s gonna be Thin Lizzy ‘Jailbreak’, and it’s gonna be loud.”
“I’ll tell you what though, I will kind of miss getting those little paper flyers for the live acts and the cover bands and whatnot, but I guess that’s what email is for. Moving ads to the trash folder just isn’t the same as crumbling one up and tossing it in the nearest trash can though, that’s for sure,” he added.
At press time, Fuchs was being yelled at by his entire family and all of his neighbors within earshot to turn his music down.